Note to self.
Come out of hiding more.
My favourite human being has returned!
Throw a street party or something please! 
Note to self.
Come out of hiding more.
Where do you even go? You’re like a little woodland creature with a very irregular hibernation pattern.
I honestly don’t know. I travel a lot, go on random road trips, and then forget to socialize. How’ve you been Ember? 
Note to self.
Come out of hiding more. 
Met these two little princesses backstage at the gig we did last weekend. Adorable!
(Source: ingenious-as-adorable)
Me two! I would say ‘I’m like a teddy bear’ but I guess Ted actually got the better resemblance with the name. But he sucks, so it’s fine. I can take his place. Cuddle me bitch. How you feeling now anyway? Bette I hope, because I love your smile more than anything. Yeah, Neytiri is a little horror. I wake up sometimes and she’s on my face and I legit want to scream. But then she’d probably shit on my face and that would be worse. The tattoos are pretty timid, I mean a lizard, compass and a jaybird aren’t the most horrifying things to have printed on your body. Oh god yeah I forgot about that, I guess I was. I would get down on one knee, but it’s too mainstream so I thought I would just slip it into conversation. Like ‘oh hey we’re gonna get married one day’. A whore can have standards I guess, sure. A haribo ring will be in the post, don’t fear. You’re actually such a charmer it hurts my brain. I’m so glad we’re gonna get married because I can still blush when we’re 89 in a old folks home. I’ll sing for you then too, if you really want. About that, I honestly don’t know how you can ever be a slut. You’re like, totally wonderful and too much of a nun. You are the queen then, that’s still inferior to a God, but you’re not a poor kid on the streets of Africa. Oh no, actually you can be Obama. Obama is kind of a goddess, in my head anyway. I would marry Obama. Yeah, I forgot to mention about navy guy, he still hasn’t hit puberty (even if he was in his early fifties) to he probably would scream like that. Or yelp. Yelp suits it better.
You know I’d never give up the chance to cuddle you. You’re like the one person who’s always going to be there to cuddle; everyone else just ups and leaves or doesn’t talk to be for weeks. But not you, because you’re ace and everyone loves you. Especially me, because I’m now your soon to be wife which means I have to, our marriage is legally binding. But I just love you anyway, regardless of our relationship status. How am I feeling? I’m… I don’t know, still pretty crappy. But I’m not going to go all dark and mopey like I did a few weeks back, which was a rather strange period in my life. Your tattoos are insanely awesome, even if they are timid. At least you don’t have some completely obscene or pornographic image on your skin in ink. If you did, that wouldn’t make a very good impression at the retirement home we’ll be chilling at together when we’re older. Imagine just having boobs or something tattooed on your arm at 80… You’d certainly get some strange looks from your fellow neighbours. You promise to sing for me when we’re 89 and old and wrinkly? Because I’d like that, very much. Wagon, you think far too highly of me. One day you’ll realise how not that great I really am, and then you’ll be all kinds of disappointed. But I guess by then we’d already be married, so you’d just have to deal with the disappointment and be stuck with me forever. Remind me to keep Obama away from you then. Just in case you get ideas about running away with him, having navy guy as your mistress is enough, thank you very much.
I tend to hide away, but all you need to do is shove that rock I hide under away and boo! Cuddles all around. You are my favorite person to hug because you don’t smell of old things and talc powder like my grandma. Legally and haribo binding. Like, binding via a sweet company which is marvelous. I wonder if they will sponsor our wedding? Like just hell of a lot of sweets and decor to match. Even if I hated you, I’d still love you. I think future Troy will be like that, considering present time Troy loves you a lot. Like…Yeah. Yeah, he loves you. Emo Amelia sucks. Like, you don’t suit heavy eyeliner or a really straightened fringe. You suit no makeup and your hair in a scruffy bun more, hm. Boobs are pretty timid to…Other things. Yeah, that nosy old woman that shouts over the TV when no one could care less would just go ‘tut tut’ every time she shuffled past on her frame. ‘Tut tut’ means ‘I want you in my bed’ so it’s fine. Nope, you are fantabulous is all ways and that won’t change. I’m easily impressed. Always have been, so even if you turn out to be a hobo who only eats tic tacs and actually have never seen Star Wars but just read the Wikipedia page…I’d still find you amazing for just being you. Navy guy will be dead by the time we’re 80, and Obama will be so god damn irrelevant too…So you’ll have me all to yourself. Just whack nosy woman over the head with your handbag. 
Success is the best form of revenge.
Currently being a part time genius, part time gangsta on the upper east side.
{rp account}
